


Left Cold

by austinthegrouch



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Established Relationship, Hurt Foggy Nelson, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Melancholy, No Dialogue, POV Foggy Nelson, POV Second Person, Possibly Unrequited Love, References to Depression, Sad Foggy, Synesthesia, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-21 21:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16584203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/austinthegrouch/pseuds/austinthegrouch
Summary: You love Matt with all you have, but that'll never be enough for him to stay.





	Left Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by *NSYNC's Gone.

It was him. It was always him. 

You wake up in the middle of the night to see Matt suiting up and ready to flee, as if even being around you was that repulsive. You know that's not why, that he'll always choose the city over you. You can't even work up the energy to be mad about it. There's just a bittersweet taste in your mouth, skin, bones, the color of the smallest tinge of green in a pot of white paint and the musical stylings of Train. But you've had the same feeling since you first laid eyes on him and realized that yes, there was a god, but he was a total bastard who insisted on tempting you with what you could never have. Or was that the devil's job?

You want to laugh but you reel it in. In your current state, you find it utterly hilarious. You wonder if it's possible to get drunk on melancholy, just let it roll around in your head like tasting a fine wine you'd never be able to afford, and wouldn't buy even if you could. You end up laughing anyway, only it sounds and feels a lot more like sobbing. 

You don't know why it's affecting you so much today. You deal with it every day, the dutiful partner to the self-sacrificing vigilante. But the hurt is as part of your relationship as you and Matt are. As big a part of you as he is and vice versa. There are days when you can ignore it, metaphorical noise cancelling headphones on, the good days when you love him and you excel in a case and you're reasonably sure he loves you back and no one dies.

There's a lot more nights like tonight, demons both literal and emotional hiding in every corner. And it's hard pretending to be okay when all you want is him, in a pair of old sweatpants stumbling half asleep into your bed. The city is his mistress and you're just existing on borrowed time, despite the rings in your drawer and proposal speech in your head.

You whisper something into the night, a feeble prayer or confession perhaps only you can hear, and get up to go brush your teeth. You're not sure who you're praying for. To what.


End file.
